Some really good advice on how to handle harsh criticism or any criticism for that matter.
Often clients speak to me about their physical appearance, personal lives or professional careers and over 75% of the time it's due to something someone has said or done. Usually, the objective advice I give is to take a step back and look at the situation, the people involved and consider why they might have said or done those things. Then ask how much of this is factual and how much actually matters? It's key to take this step back before reacting. This acronym of CURE in the article sums it up perfectly.
Just briefly, I'll share a time when criticism cut very deep and actually had a life-changing impact:
One day I was in a local pub and during a conversation in a group I said, "yeah, I love a good takeaway" and one of the group turned around, looked me up and down and said "ha really? We can tell". I was a big guy then and not into fitness or health at all. This comment, although not malicious as such, cut deep. It's important to note that previous to this I'd made a sly comment about this persons appearance. Initially upset, I reacted in a childish way and likely said something even worse back.
However, after the event I did my own version of CURE mentioned in this article and came up with the following conclusions; why did they say it? Well, I had hurt their feelings a few minutes earlier so fair play; How much is actually true? A lot, did love a good takeaway and my body was paying the price; Did it actually matter? Yes, it did, I didn't like the person I looked at in the mirror right now, not just physically but also my lifestyle and I was disgusted with how I was treating myself. It was at this point I vowed to change my lifestyle, become fit and healthy.
The point is; harsh criticism changed my life for the better. It wasn't about them, I owned it and made sense of it. Try it next time, see what you can learn about yourself.
Most of us have been “feedsmacked” at some point in our life. In the midst of a meeting, an innocent walk down the hallway, or a performance review, someone delivers a verbal wallop that rocks our psychological footing. We looked at 445 such incidents when we conducted an online survey asking people about the hardest feedback they ever received.